October 4 - Giant Splinter

September was hard on me, but it was also really beautiful. I was feeling heavy and sad, but I was also getting so much love, and I’m feeling really lucky. I don’t know where that heaviness comes from sometimes. I wonder if I just inherited it. September it’s been 5 years since my dad died. I can’t believe he’s been gone that long. I still forget that I didn’t just forget to call him.

I just joined a songwriting group that gives weekly prompts. I have to write a song that’s at least 2 minutes long using the prompt each week, or else I will be kicked out. The prompt this week was “concrete” and within an hour of seeing it, I was already recording this song. Dad poured concrete when I was a kid. He was always pointing out sidewalks and buildings that he helped build. I remember him wearing Pre-Mix concrete trucker hats, and I wish I had one, because I feel like he had a dozen and I can’t imagine where they all ended up. I wish I could ask him. I don’t feel very poetic about this right now.

Belle and I have been going out in Ferndale a lot for walks by the river, because I’ve been bringing her to work. It’s nice to get out in the sun at lunch, just a 2 minute drive from away. I don’t take it for granted that anything is gonna really last, and this sun was really, really good. It unwound me a little. Bell hopped around a lot, probably murdering things, but it’s okay because she’s innocent, she’s not a human like me. It’s still beautiful.

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